Thursday, February 26, 2015

Boring Bigfoot: The Latest News

Google ‘Bigfoot’ and you’ll get 7,640,000 hits, and on Youtube, the number is 1,080,000 posts.
Over a million posts with Bigfoot in the title. I think it’s safe to say that the hairy hominid is alive and well, at least in cyberspace.

Certainly there are repetitive posts, ads and extremely dumb stuff, so I usually try to mine sites like Guy Edward’s Bigfoot Lunch Club and Lon Strickler’s Phantoms and Monsters and (reluctantly, Bigfoot Evidence, but I ignore the comments section since it’s full of imbeciles).

Nothing earth-shaking from the BFRO, just the same Class A,B and C reports.

                                      You don't just come out here for the huntin' do ya?

In this way I try to stay abreast of developments and as of the last week of February, not much is noteworthy.  Doc Meldrum is basically in hiding and Todd Standing finally sat down.

                                                 This dumb photo chaps Bigfoot's ass..

Les Stroud was supposedly working on a new Bigfoot episode for Survivorman, but I haven’t seen an air date yet.
Sara and Jon Brown haven’t posted anything truly new since the Grays Harbor Thermal image and Bryan Sykes and Melba Ketchum haven’t come up with any useful data either.

Todd Neiss is speaking in Portland and Derek Randles has new, retooled website at Olympic Project, but this is about it as far as news.
                                                 Todd Neiss and a real bigfoot he found. 

Back to Youtube,  the first six pages are ads and ‘Finding Bigfoot’ episodes and old stuff we’ve all seen. Finally, by about page 12 you run into ‘Barbara and Gabby’s ‘Cloaked Bigfoot’.
Alternately, a cursory search on Youtube with the term ‘Sasquatch’ soon reveals the weird stuff.
Sasquatch Ontario and Kewaunee Lapseritis  are arguably the two most prominent proponents of paranormal bigfoot and both agree that Sasquatches are a people and that they have a message for us ‘hairless humans.’

This is where things get really weird.

Kewaunee ‘Jack’ Lapseritis is the author of The Psychic Sasquatch’ and ‘The Sasquatch People and Their Interdimensional Connection ‘.  The first book is very interesting and in my opinion, possibly will become a landmark work in the overall field of Bigfoot research, the second one is more of the same, but weirder.
Kewaunee lectures around the nation and his message is basically that The Sasquatch people are here to help us and that  ‘the planet is dying at the hands of exploitative man and in 2012 there will be a huge shift in human consciousness that most earthlings are ill prepared to face.’
That date has passed of course, and I havent’ noticed a ‘huge shift’….maybe just a small one though.
Kewaunee is a gentle fellow, long gray hair in pony tail and flannel shirt. He looks like a guy who might be selling herbs at a farmers market, and in fact, KL is a master herbalist and health practitioner too.
                                    Hey, ah..I have some 'herbs' back in the van if yer interested.

 While he is ostensibly a likeable guy, his youtube videos are a little hard to listen to, as it’s basically about how messed up humans are and how we are doomed as a species. He also has a Sasquatch-sized ego, with a self-described resume that dwarfs that of regular, Bigfoot researchers. In his message, Kewaunee pushes the telepathic connection aspect pretty heavily and while this blogsite IS called Bizarre Bigfoot, I can only assimilate so much in one sitting when it comes to the high strangeness that the aging hippie dude is putting down.

Sasquatch Ontario is the other big hitter in the Weird Bigfoot ballpark.  Mike Paterson has been documenting what he says is a family of Sasquatches interacting with him in a remote location in Ontario, Canada.  His videos are soothing  if not fully revelatory, and they include the apparent voice of a Sasquatch ‘friend’ he calls ‘Nephatia’.   Nephatia leaves the occasional foot and handprint around the area, with Mike taping items like marbles and handwoven twigs, which, according to him appear suddenly from thin air.
                                      The only known photo of Mike Paterson...BlobMike.

Paterson’s demeanor is engaging and, as opposed to the doom and gloom of Lapseritis’ videos, pleasant to hear. I say hear, because the bulk of the information Paterson offers is audio (there are the usual nebulous photos of blob squatches).

His call and response routine with Nephatia sounds like a man coaxing a child to come out of the woods.  Frequent words of kindness permeate the dialogue, which is mostly Mike himself as he observes prints in the snow or the sudden arrival of a marble.  ‘Hey, Buddy…how are you?’ , upon which we hear the guttural response of the creature as he forms English words like ‘brother’ and ‘flower’.    Further in the the video catalog shows Mike turning over the reigns to his new friend, Christopher Munch, the producer of ‘Letters from The Big Man’.

Munch has been posting a series of interviews with ‘sensitives’ who explain telepathic communiqués they have had with the Sasquatch People.  It’s not as alarming as Lapseritis’s stuff but there are still plenty of warnings about ‘huge changes’ for humanity.

                                    Munch is a serious dude...never see him smile. Until now.

To be clear, I like both Paterson and Lapseritis and their scenarios to a degree because, while it’s way out in woo hoo land (the place where empiracal, physical evidence cannot find a foothold) at least the end game is more about bettering humans and the planet as opposed to the flesh and blood mindset of ‘shoot 'em or cage them, catalog and dissect 'em.'

That said, at some point if I had a direct phone line to the Sasquatch people, I would ask them to give us hairless ones some sort of unequivocal sign that they exist and that they have noble intentions.  A grunting, disembodied voice, a set of huge bare footprints in the snow, a marble and a blurry bit of video are not cutting it and if the goal of the S.P are to enlighten us little people, they’re going to have to step up the campaign in a meaningful way.


If I was hanging out with Kewaunee and he had the Sas People on the line, I would ask them to help us know they are real by making a physical appearance in a place where thousands can see them with their own eyes.

All of this information comes courtesy of YouTube, by the way, which is the tool of choice now for disseminating Bigfoot video and audio.

And so this is how the big reveal has evolved.

 Ten years ago nobody had a personal drone, nobody had a phone that was capable of high definition video and trail cameras were mostly still just for deer and elk. Now we have multiple habituation locations where researchers do overnight forays into the woods and/or simply leave sandwiches on a stump. My friend Ben uses high quality audio gear to record sounds throughout the night as video is just too difficult to obtain. He also uses trip wires with shriek alarms (though I believe none have ever been truly tripped.

As these on-site waiting games continue, our knowledge base increases and this is appropriate and akin to any good study of animals in the wild.

Hunker down, get comfortable and be patient, because just like the study of Mountain Gorillas in Burundi, hairless humans are in Sasquatch territory once we leave the comfort and confines of our homes, RVs and tents.
In this vein, we have individuals like Kewaunee Lapseritis (and more recently, Christopher Munch) who are way past the nights of cowering in a tent and have moved on to full-on telepathic communication. The messages are very similar too,though Lapseritis' long diatribes are fraught with vague warnings about 'waves' of non-humans soon to arrive with bad intent, while Munchs assimilation of Bigfoot sensitives like Kathleen Odom and Andrew Robson are gentler and more about human apathy for the planet.

And we have heard this before.

The main thrust of many UFO abductee messages, obtained either directly from memory of a proclaimed real experience or garnered through hypnosis speak of the terrible legacies of pollution and the threat of nuclear proliferation by humans and that, like the return of Jesus, a day of reckoning is nearing soon.

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