Thursday, February 21, 2013

Bigfoot and Sex

Now that Dr. Ketchum has explained that our friend Mr. Foot is an evolved human hybrid that came to be when a progenitor mated with a human female, we have to consider how this came to happen?

Is this a case of a horrendous act of rape or was there something more to the story?  While this author would never entertain, support or condone any sex act that was not consensual, it is somewhat difficult to believe that our current combined understanding of what Bigfoot is:
A huge hairy hominid that manages to remain unconfirmed in the deep woods and wild areas of the world in spite of ever increasing human encroachment, AND, which was the result of a SINGLE UNION between some sort of Numero Uno, Bigfoot MacDaddy and an unwilling human female. (Click for more).

My point is, I think this happened more than once and I believe it may be the result of a bit of early human/critter romance. Before the reader cries 'Beastiality', I would suggest that Bigfoot, in whatever form we agree upon, is hardly a simple oversized ape.  Apes, throughout human history have not had the smarts to avoid detection, usurpation and murder by humans.
Bigfoot, as a stealthy, highly intelligent entity continues to elude the best of us, and so this makes him much more our equal.
So, to continue with my theory, what was it that made this human female receptive to the advances of an oversized, hairy monster?  All jokes aside, except for the concept that most human females would tell you that they have all dated (and some have married) oversized hairy monsters, there must have been a special set of circumstances that led to the first coupling of Cryptid/Human.
A lone human female, lost in the woods far from her tribe smacks of B movie scripts, but may truly have been a likely beginning.  And if our hairy monster friend is so monstrous, why would he allow his new conquest to escape instead of keeping her for his own or worse, devouring her?
Any human male knows the power of the female to control, entice, enrage and mollify the strongest of us, and all in the same encounter.  So perhaps we can assume that this ancient, Eve-offshoot did not work all that hard at fending off the Big One's interest.

Call it a survival mechanism, or call it selective breeding, where the human female seeks the strongest, most viral 'male' to help her to continue her species.  Why not?  The anatomy, by reports, is similar enough. Arms to hold her, legs to carry her and, ahem, the goods to deliver the necessary baby bigfoot batter and we have conception.

                                              'Yo, Footman, you got a LICENSE for that thing!?'

But in order to explain why Bigfoot did not evolve in the way that humans did, we have a dead end.
Gene-based evolution tells us that as the embryo splits, it retains elements of both the mother and the father, so why do we not have a living hybrid, showing the more subtle aspects of both Bigfoot and of humans?
Feel free to comment below, and also, consider the additional idea of human MALES conjugating with female Bigfoots.  Why not?
                                              'He's looking at you, Stacy....NO, he's looking at ME!'

  I know that when my wife forgets to shave her legs, I am still undeterred when it comes to a little slap and tickle. How about you?

Bigfoot Stinks

A commonly reported aspect of many Bigfoot encounters is how Bigfoot smells.

The descriptions of the odor of the big Cryptid creature is not far ranging, but rather distinct and reported as:
 'the smell of wet musty roadkill with dirty diaper that caused me to gag for air.'
'It smelled like Swamps, skunks, dead skunk.' or ' like a Super Bowl locker room.'

That can't be good.

Cabbage, rotted vegetation, wet bears, spawned salmon, rotted waterfowl eggs, various dead animals even dirty loggers socks or any combination of the above figure into witness accounts and one report I found claimed that 'bigfoot can have a sort of has a corn-chip like smell... I hear some people actually like it.'
About 10-15% of close encounters with Bigsmell are connected with an intense, disagreeable stench, comparable to the odor of smegma. How this comparison is ascertained, I will leave to the scientists, but the overall picture is clear: Bigfoot stinks.

Bigfoot Forensic expert, Dr. Henner Fahrenbach notes an observation of mountain gorillas as recorded by anthropologist Dian Fossey. "She describes male gorillas as producing an overpowering, gagging fear odor, either when fleeing from enemies, or when in confrontational encounters with other male gorillas. At eighty feet, the smell is very intense, and may be coincidentally accompanied by a discharge of diarrheic stool."  Nice touch, Magilla.

' there, like, a bathroom over here somewhere....NOW!?'

Doc Fahrenbach continues, "The origin of the odor seems to be in the axillary gland, a mass of apocrine sweat glands many layers deep in the armpit. Noted in the autopsy of a male gorilla, one gland was reported to be smelling and the other not, an indication of neural control over the discharge."
So...ostensibly we have an enormous hairy dude (and probably dudettes too) that can be found in forests around the nation that can basically 'shart' their way out of trouble. That's talent, but the reports go even deeper.
Fahrenbach says, "Repeated reports of people feeling like they are being observed, being overcome by unreasoning fear, abruptly retreating from the forest without obvious cause may concievably be due to a hormonal component of sasquatch sweat, percieved below conscious level, although it elicits an immediate emotional response."
Ok, so not only can Bigfoot shit-smell us into spasms of fear, his B.O. might also be so toxic that it can cause humans to immediatly exit, stage left. What other animals have this power?
In the 1930s, Karl von Frisch, the famous ethologist, theorized that injured fish release a substance that is transmitted by smell and causes alarm. But Dr. von Frisch never identified the chemical composition of the signal. He just called it 'schreckstoff', or “scary stuff.”
 Dogs are known to defecate and urinate when suprised in an aggressive manner, and humans, when faced with extreme fear also employ Autonomic innervation of the bladder, urogenital diaphragm, and anal sphincteric musculature to void urine and feces explosively.

In the BFRO, report #23245, a hunter in B.C. Canda in 2007 stops to enjoy a chocolate bar while leaning on a stump and turns to see a Bigfoot that was observing him from a mere 50 yards away.   He posts, "this god awful smell permeated the whole area." and then "The odor arrived and left as if someone had "turned it on and off".

In another BFRO report we get a more final summation of what the Bigguy whiffs of:
 'I live outside Farmington MO and I have a deer lick just out side the wood line in my back yard and there is always deer. I was just getting home from work one night after I closed, it was about 11 and I like to see the deer just to see what we have around my house. And in the upper left hand corner of my yard about 25 yards away from my deer lick I saw a big figure about 7' maybe 8' tall. I was thinking it was a poacher in the yard killing deer. So I turned my brights on and started walking toward the figure. As I was walking I started to smell kinda like a smell of body odor and mildew smell and I was scared when I realized it wasn't a hunter. It took off down a game trail in the brush. I also need to say I'm not hunting off the lick, and the deer run when I pull up. I wasn't walking over there with a group of deer. But to continue, the next day I walked back into the woods and looked. There is a bunch of nesting spots for deer and a spot where it looks like a rock bed that smelled awful, like death.'

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Paranormal Bigfoot: Turning the Corner of Public Opinion

I cruise the BFRO nearly every day to see the latest BF encounter reports and I look hints of the anecdotes that stick out as having an extranormal aspect. My opinion about the nature of Bigfoot is that they are not simply some sort of left over Mega-Ape that survived the Ice Age just so they can hang out in the woods and throw rocks at campers. I think that Bigfoot has abilities that defy our notions of physics and other laws of the natural world.
In the report below, BFRO # 34043 the witness, described as an avid outdoorsman and hunter
notes that while looking at the subject BF through a rifle scope, the entity simply disappeared.
He also noted that there was no noise made that would be indicative of a large biped leaving the scene. This part of the story is a common occurance in BF encounters, where the huge creature leaves the scene without making any noise, much less leaving evidence of his presence or departure.  Read:

'OBSERVED: To keep it short..I was deer hunting in the new river gorge in Fayetteville WW and it was in 2007, the week of thanksgiving.
It was evening with about two hours of daylight left and I noticed movement about 60 yards towards the gorge from my position..I raised my gun to view the movement through the scope..after holding it in position for 10 sec or so I saw a very large hand appear from the side of a large Poplar was palm against the tree and I saw fingers mostly..then to my surprise I saw a head peek from around the large tree and two LARGE eyes affixed on a head if a creature I've never seen before..and I'm a hunter..have been since I was 8..I'm now 38.. The Bigfoot blinked twice while looking at me and then stepped back behind the tree..I viewed it for about 20 seconds while it was looking at mind just couldn't figure out what it was and I knew what it wasn't..I had no desire to shoot it and very well could have but my mind and body almost seemed to be in a state of shock while viewing it..I had to cross near the location on the trail out if the woods and I was F'n terrified even with a loaded deer hair stood on end when I realized that I would have to go towards the location to get out of the woods..I called my uncle as soon as I got to my jeep and told him..he believed me..I am a VERY honest man and would never lie about this..the thing is though..I never heard it run away or move through the leaves..and you can hear movement from 200+ yards off in these's like it just disappeared..I came home very shaken from the experience and it changed my I know that it is out there.'

To be fair, there ARE reports of BF making LOTS of noise and of being at least partially visible while paralleling the path of someone moving through the woods, and in this regard I would suggest that BF can turn on or turn off this ability as desired. But in the case of a creature the size and weight of three refridgerators stacked on each other, how can we explain it's ability to leave the scene so abruptly and in complete silence unless we invoke a paranormal explanation?  This is interesting also, because the BFRO is very stringent in it's posting guidelines about what should be considered evidential reportage and what could be construed as plain fantasy.  They instruct their investigators to fill out the report form in a detective like manner, leaving conjecture out.  This is how it should be done, of course, because you cannot form a tangible hypothesis without following evidential procedures, but as more and more encounters are posted I suspect we will see more embracing of these odder parts of the BF mystery, because even though these reports lack good photo or material evidence, the observational skills of so many of the witnesses are very good and cannot be ignored.

Bigfoot - Rock Thrower Extraordinaire

A goodly number of BF encounters feature a rock landing in, on or near the witnesses, often in such a manner as to exclude the possibility that any other explanation could account for the event, including that of birds, simple rock slides, bears (C’mon…) or humans pulling a prank.  The size of the rocks (read: boulder) is sometimes cited, as well as the distance (sometimes, ostensibly, over a hundred yards) but also mentioned is the exactness of the ‘shot’ as it were, where a BF thrown stone hits someone in the hand, on the leg or smack dab on their tent. This is not easy, especially if it happens late at night, from thick foliage.  Imagine Bigfoot with a regulation hardball, in broad daylight with a target as big as homeplate. He’d kill, tossing no-hitters, perhaps literally, out of the park.
Below is a small excerpted list of anecdotes I found online to prime the discussion.
“An object landed within ten feet of us that I know of no human being able to throw it that far. There was one about 10 foot tall. A family group drew in close, three of which got within 15 feet of me. It looked like something out of a Steven Spielberg movie, not human as I know it,” said the man, who has chosen to remain anonymous."
‘Observed: I was out looking for an old abandoned gold mine near Georgetown Lake in Montana to do some prospecting in the summer of 2010. Around 4 pm as I was traveling back down logging road 242 north of the lake, in my FJ Cruiser, a rock came flying through the trees from my right and hit my cruiser’s roof top leaving a sizeable dent in the roof. I saw the rock as it bounced off the roof and fly down the hillside. I immediately stopped thinking some kid or person threw a rock at my truck. As I jumped out of my truck to see who or what threw the rock from up a hillside a large dark creature disappeared up the hill and into the trees. I thought to myself, ‘No way, it couldn’t be.’  But I have the dented roof to prove that what I believe to be a Bigfoot threw the rock.”  
Outside of Vancouver, BC, 1960 –
"Some time, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning, Jim and I were awakened by a loud crash in the campsite. Thinking bear, we grabbed our guns and kicked back the tent flap. Nothing. Jim had a flashlight and he turned it on, Earl and Kid were now out of their tent and armed. A boulder about the size and shape of a bowling ball had destroyed our dutch oven and part of the cook box. We stood around trying to sort things out when a second boulder hit Kid and Earl’s tent dead center. It came straight down through the trees. I was standing there, open mouth when both Kid and Jim grabbed me and Earl and drug us deeper into the trees.

Naturally there was a lot of discussion but I won’t relate the tenor of that. We spent the rest of the short night in a circle, back to back, safeties off. From time to time we would hear more rocks hit and once, just once, some sort of strange hooting from the other side of the river.

After good sunup we slowly crept back to camp. One tent was toast as were the cook box and most of the cooking equipment. I counted nine rocks ranging in size from bowling ball to beach ball size. The largest weighted maybe 150-200 pounds."
Fortunately the canoes were undamaged and we quickly pulled up camp and started out. We got to the meat cache that morning and it was gone. Not destroyed, -gone. Totally, 100% gone. No logs, no rope, no meat. No carcass. I have no opinion.

We ran wide open going out and “camped” that night in the canoes in the middle of a lake.

I am certain of only five things regarding that trip:
1-Those rocks were not on the bank where we pitched camp when we pitched camp.
2-They were not carried into our camp, they were thrown.
3-No human being did it.
4-I have no desire to ever again go into that country.
5-I am not a believer or a skeptic. But I don’t exactly discount much of which I don’t understand.

As to the lack of scientific evidence. It is just in recent times we have learned that cacausoids lived in North America as long as 12,000 years ago. If our ancestors had not lived in villages with middens, had they roamed in groups of two or three, we might still not know about Clovis Woman or many of them. (The word 'midden' refers to a very old refuse heaps that contain discarded materials, food remains, bones, etc. Midden is an old English word for a household rubbish dump...)

Try and throw a 150-pound boulder across a 50-foot stream. I saw it done. I don’t know what did it.'

The most famous case of a Bigfoot attack allegedly occurred at a place called Ape Canyon, near Mt.St.Helens, Washington. In 1924, a group of five miners working at the site were besieged by a group of "ape men." One of the miners, a man named Fred Beck, claimed that they sighted a group of Bigfoot high above them on the edge of the canyon.

The miners then spent a terrified night holed up in their cabin, during which the Bigfoot bombarded the cabin with rocks, and, they claimed, even tried to break the door in. The miners couldn't get a good look at the Bigfoot—partly because it was dark and partly because they could only see outside through small cracks in the door and walls.
The incident was cited for years in Bigfoot lore as a classic Bigfoot attack, and the details were exaggerated with each retelling. For example a few dozen fist-size rocks that rained down on the roof and walls became "giant boulders" in some versions of the story. Later research found that the famous Ape Canyon Bigfoot attack was not a hoax — but nor was it real: it was instead a combination of a prank and misperceptions.'
Now as to my own personal experiences with rock-tossing BFs, I can say that it is mostly inconclusive, but feel I should relate one trip back from the Greenwater Lakes trail above the town of Greenwater in Pierce County a few years ago. It is a relatively active area for BF reports and we had done the hike up to the 3 mile mark for a nice lunch near one of the lakes. Back in the car on the way back down the forest service road, the four of us are chatting about dinner when I hear a loud thunk on the body of the Explorer. Nobody said anything, but only paused for a moment. I ascertained that the thunk was far too loud to be a bit of gravel pitched up from the road surface, so back at home I did a cursory search of the truck’s exterior to find a dent on the roof about the size of a quarter coin. What happened? I dunno, but that had to be a difficult target, being a 45 mile an hour SUV rounding the bend of a road surrounded by thick forest canopy.  You be the judge.

Bigfoot World Gone Crazy?

I t’s been a while since my last entry here on Bizarre Bigfoot, mostly because we have not had any solid developments worth noting. A...