Sunday, April 10, 2016

What is Bigfoot?

What AM I?
Like any good mystery, the saga of the search for Sasquatch has plenty of twists and turns. To date, it's been nearly 50 years since the P/G film surfaced and news media reports have seriously considered big hairy monster stories should be worth printing. It's probably time to revisit the original question: What is Bigfoot?

As recently as five years ago, it was complete heresy to suggest that Bigfoot was anything other than a full on flesh and blood, throwback to human ancestry. Bob Gimlin and his buddy Patterson sparked the speculation and our obsession with body mechanics, muscle groups and how they relate to known primates like gorillas and chimpanzees and the mammary-blessed, live Girl-rilla that is Patty has been the dominant theory ever since.

The five main theories currently flying through the blogosphere are (in order of mundane to plain bizarre:

1). Bigfoot isn’t real. Sightings of big hairy monsters are a combination of mistaken identities of bears, moose or elk or humans in gorilla costumes or are just plain hoaxes and pranks.

2).Bigfoot is a 'missing link', flesh and blood, non-human primate. They live in small groups in forested areas around the planet, with heavier concentrations in the Pacific Northwest.

3). Bigfoot are a people, an ape/human hybrid ‘tribe’ that has co-existed with humans since before recorded history. The lack of fossil evidence is due to their cultural practice of burying their dead in caves and/or from animal predation. They have high intelligence and are mostly adept at stealth and contact avoidance.

4). Bigfoot is human hybrid that was ‘engineered’ by advanced non-human, off-planet cultures and was designed to perform physical tasks and/or as a way to monitor human influence and effect on the planet.

5). Bigfoot is an alien entity from a different planet altogether, having arrived on earth only a few thousand years ago (to explain the lack of fossil record). They came because their planet was destroyed by war. (google 'Bigfoot, Maldek' for a fun surprise!).They have capabilities that defy our understanding of physics, including invisibility, mind reading/communication, as well as interdimensional access.

'I can't SEE!'

These five are the most popular theories, there are more, but they are too outlandish to include, like the idea that Bigfoot is a cyborg or even a robot suit that Aliens wear when they want to do some spying or adventure trekking around Earth.

For me, the problems with believing in the ‘leftover ape from prehistory’ theory is the missing fossils and the lack of other any other evidence like good photos, videos, hair and scat.
Sure, some say that stuff exists, but it’s surely in such short supply as to make positive conclusions scurrilous.

So that leaves the weirder explanations open to consideration. The sheer number of witness accounts is no longer compartmentalized as mistaken identity. Too many very good, even trained observers with reputations at stake tells me that there really IS a non-human critter hanging around some of the unpopulated places of the nation and the world.

So why is Bigfoot so much harder to photograph than a bear, a wolf or cougar? Is it possible that the oversized two-leggers are just so hyper-aware that they can sense and avoid human presence better than any other creature on the planet? This seems specious too. Wolves are extremely sensitive animals, with smell and hearing capabilities exemplified by huge ears and a long snout. By all accounts, Sasquatches are much more human like, with small ears and nose, a body type that is more suited to hunkering down than to rapid flight.

Look close. That's a bear carcass, baby.

So what is their secret? Just their habit of only coming out at night? That’s a non-starter since there are tons of known animals that prefer the dark of night to hunt, and since there are plenty of daytime sightings of Bigfoot. Also, there is the ability to disappear quickly without a trace is documented in witness reports, some suggesting a triple Usain Bolt action, some claiming the ‘flash of light’ method. 

What other creature might we compare to Sasquatch that fits this criteria?
It would have to be critter that can almost never be photographed, a beastie that leaves no trace of it’s passage or presence and an entity that has is far smarter and capable than humans. Agreed?

How about one of these:

This creature has been witnessed by many people, it defies being photographed just like Bigfoot and seems to come and go at it’s complete leisure. In order to evade us dumb humans, it supposedly defies physics and travels between worlds.

See where I’m going with this? Yep, Bigfoot is an alien. NO, wait. I didn’t say that.

Bigfoot does not run around in a spaceship and abduct people. But there are similarities.
If you ask Bigfoot sensitives like Jack Lapseritis  he will tell you that Bigfoot IS an off planet entity whose agenda is to warn humans not to screw up earth with War and pollution.

'Why won't anybody pick me up? Is it my breath?'

What do I believe? Well, if you lump up the previous bulletin points like ‘scarcity, a number of human-like traits along with extraordinary capabilities and apparent communication with select individuals, I have to go to Dr. Google for an answer;

Search - 'disappear instantly, communicate telepathically, warn humanity'

The first link is for ‘Yeti, Yowie’ and ‘ ETs’

Then this one:

So, are The Sasquatch and Aliens the same thing? Of course not. How could an 8 foot tall Forest Gorilla fit in one of those spacecraft along with all those little bug-eyed dudes? Humorously, there are reports of Bigfoot actually walking out of a spacecraft and even being seen inside of them chatting with Grays about the days events. I’m much too far in to La La land to discount that scenario now. But the supposition that Bigfoot works in collusion or at the behest of the smaller, bug-like creatures does make some sense. A few authors have suggested that Bigfoot is a created life-form, just as humans were bio-engineered, by an advanced culture and tasked with doing the heavy labor that the spindly little Grays could not manage in our Earthly atmosphere.

Still with me?

'You are one UGLY baby...but, you're mine, I guess.'

Even as far back as Zecharia Sitchin’s work on The Anunnaki, the connection between advanced life forms and Bigfoot was made evident. Sitchin suggested that The Anu’s came to Earth looking for Gold because, you know, it’s bitchin’ stuff, and in order to get at it, they created humans to dig it up. When humans proved to be underbuilt and way too hard to control, they went back to the lab and came up with a better version. The new human was a lot hairier, which precluded the need for pesky clothing, could lift tons of stuff easily and was happy with a few berries and maybe a deer carcass. 

'Whoa there, you look TASTY!'

Check the link:

Is this what I believe Bigfoot is?  Heck, why not? You have a better explanation, I’m listening.

1 comment:

Bigfoot Howls!

'Take me hoooome, Country Roaaads!' G reenwater, Washington is a 'blinkandmissit' town on Hwy 410 that has a long histo...